


Ghost of You

by TheMadQueenMogar (CobaltCastaway)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, General pronouns for reader, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Reader dies, Spencer misses them a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25724017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobaltCastaway/pseuds/TheMadQueenMogar
Summary: Based off the song “Ghost of You” by Five Seconds of Summer. Link: https://youtu.be/-T-vhGL9fP8
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a request from my best friend! It’s definitely a sad one, but I hope you guys enjoy it.

The light floods the room prying Spencer from his sleep. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. Spencer kept his breathing as steady as he could. His hand slowly crawls over to the cold side of the bed. He let it rest on the sheets for a moment but only that. 

Spencer tossed the blankets off of himself and sat up. He glanced around the room, trying to hype himself up to get ready for the day. His eyes catch an item resting on the bedside table. The coffee mug he brought you the morning before the last case. It still had the faint stain of your lipstick. He swallowed back the tears threatening to fall. With a shake of his head to bring himself back, he stood up and fixed the sheets back.

The world was a little more dim without you in it, Spencer told himself over and over again. He picked the mug up and decided he needed to clean the apartment up. He hadn’t touched anything since. He dragged himself to the kitchen and put the mug in the sink. He kept any bad thoughts to the back of his mind as he started in the kitchen. 

As he put away the dishes, Spencer spotted a small box that he’d forgotten about. He picked it up and ran his thumb over the lid not daring to open it. His throat burned as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He put the box back and searched the kitchen for something to put his mind at ease.

Spencer quickly downed a shot of alcohol. If not for the circumstances, he would have laughed at himself for drinking so early. He wiped the tears from his eyes and sat the glass down. He decided to get back to cleaning to distract himself. It was distracting. Mindless cleaning to keep his brain busy. That was until he got to the laundry.

Spencer slowly grabbed a shirt from the laundry basket, almost as if it would slash his hands if he didn’t hold it just right. He started to think that maybe the universe hated him, but he didn’t believe in silly stuff like that. He breathed in deeply as he looked over the shirt. It was your favorite, he knew that. Some odd band you loved that he only listened to because he knew you liked them. He started to think about the first time he saw you in it.

—

_ It was around a year after you joined the BAU. You and Spencer had become close over your mutual interests. You got news that a close friend of yours passed away. The two of you were practically siblings. You’d gotten the call from her mother that night, and it broke you down. Before you could think, you were out the door wandering the streets. It didn’t even bother you that the rain was soaking your pajamas. You couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down your cheeks. _

_ You were only brought back to the present when you realized you were at the door of Spencer’s apartment. He didn’t hesitate to let you in and hear your woes. He gave you a towel and offered dry clothes and a distraction if you’d like. That’s the night you both knew. A few days after, when your head was screwed back right, you admitted your feelings to him. It scared you to admit it. _

—

Spencer held the shirt close to his chest, burying his face in it for a moment before throwing it in the wash with the others. He could almost hear you telling him that everything was okay. That he would be fine. He took a break from cleaning to down another shot. His phone buzzed with a text. The contact read as Penelope. He glanced over the text to see if it was too important to answer later. She just wanted to check up on him. He deemed it safe to answer when he could capture his thoughts. 

Spencer stationed himself at the kitchen table, bottle in one hand, shot glass in the other. His eyes focused on a spot on the wall across the room. If he focused hard enough, he could almost see you in the kitchen dancing to a song while cooking breakfast. He didn’t think it was possible to miss a person this much. He stood up to move back to the bed.

The image of you followed him through the apartment. The scent of your shampoo, the sound of your laughter, your voice telling him that everything’s okay. Spencer sat on his side of the bed and looked over to yours. He could see you laying down beside him, one hand on your chest and the other moving through the air as you told him a story. He took another drink. Spencer’s eyes focused on the door to the balcony. He could see through the blinds to the set of chairs sitting facing each other. His mind wandered to that morning. 

—

_ You perched yourself on one of the chairs on the balcony, legs crossed underneath you as you took in the morning air. You were already dressed for the day. You heard footsteps approaching causing you to turn your head. Spencer greeted you with a smile and a cup of coffee. You gladly took it and sipped the warm drink. “Hotch called,” Spencer told you, “He needs us in today.” You groaned and stood up, “On our day off?” Spencer sighed and nodded. The two of you made your way inside and grabbed your go bags.  _

_ — _

The next part was vivid in Spencer’s mind. 

—

_ The case was fairly like the usual. It took a few days for Penelope to track down the unsub and where he kept the woman he kidnapped. The team headed there immediately, half splitting up to go to the kidnapping site. You, Hotch, Rossi, and Reid went to the home. Hotch instructed for you and Spencer to head around to the back. Him and Rossi would take the front.  _

_ Spencer silently opened the door as you snuck in first. You had your gun drawn and your eyes peeled. You and Spencer cleared rooms almost robotically. You could hear Rossi and Hotch clearing other rooms. That only left one room to be searched. You kicked the door down and rushed in with the others behind you.  _

_ The unsub was in the room with a gun pointed right at you. He had a girl in his arms. You could see the fear on her face. You slowly put your gun away to try and talk him down. No one had any time to process the next few seconds. You thought you had him. You thought he was listening. Until two gunshots rang through the room. _

—

Spencer tried not to blame himself. He kept telling himself there was nothing he could’ve done, no way any of them would’ve known. Still, he still felt like he could’ve done  _ something _ to make sure nothing happened. He needed you now more than ever. He needed to hear you making a joke to hear him laugh. He needed your smile to brighten the room. He needed your voice to tell him he was okay. Yet, all he had was the ghostly memories of you. 


End file.
